My view on the self-loathing man of inaction.
Healthy Gamer video on self-loathing man of inaction
The reason for writing this article is to self-diagnose and share my view about this topic. Specifically, I observe that I am numbingly slow to take action. However, I know that action-oriented people use this dopamine-positive feedback cycle to become tremendously successful.
The part that resonates with me is that it says your brain is wired to stop you from going where you want to go for good reasons (evolutionary and others). Also, your brain just does what it knows how to do.
Traditionally, a desire (want) triggers an emotional response (guilt, shame, or others). Following the trigger, it creates a momentum to take an action. This solves the emotional response problem and also stimulates dopamine release.
However, your brain has been trained to take inaction (a type of action) instead of solving this emotional response problem and dopamine. This circuitry becomes a habit. Hence, we see a rise of men of inaction. I am affected by this, too.
My theory is that this inaction stems from the generic sense of hopelessness we, as a society, have become accustomed to. And maybe, the negativity of this world is overwhelming the positivity.
So what can we do about this?
Awareness is key. Awareness is enough. Your actions define you.
The next time you have a thought that says, "No, I can't do that." Just be aware that the thought was generated by a part of your brain that does what it knows how to do. These thoughts can't be you.
With this distance from the thoughts, you can then begin to decide what to do. And practicing this distancing muscle makes it easier and easier over time.
There are a few tricks that the brain will use on you. Here are a few that I have noticed before.
- "No, I can't do that."
- "No, that is too expensive."
- "No, that is unnecessary; I can just do it myself, or I already know it."
- "No, I don't have time for that."
- "I can do that later."
- "No, that's not me."
Whenever you hear these thoughts, just relax and be aware and say, "Aha, I see this thought, like I see a sky of clouds, but these clouds are impeding me from going where I want to go, so I will let them pass."
Next, look at these thoughts, for every "No", find out what you can ACTUALLY do to resolve the problem. For instance, "No, that is too expensive" should become "Let's Google it to see how much it is, and find a way to get that money."
As explained in the video, the habitual man defaults to habit. And by definition, a habit is something unconscious. The fact that you are aware of these thoughts and aware of the actions that follow tells you that you are not acting on habitual autopilot and likely are on the right path.
Another important concept noted in the video is how your brain generates these thoughts. Like a script, it generates these thoughts, aligned around a single theme, which it says you cannot change. It will cause you to act in an inert manner. Your brain does all these things to get you to surrender. So, you actually win by default. You simply just do not surrender.
A good reminder is also to default to action and do what you fear the most whenever you're in doubt.
Let's try it today.
Let's break it down into a framework:
- Desire
- Emotional response problem
- Brain-generated tricks
- Rephrase
- Action
Desire: I want to try writing a blog, sharing my thoughts, and creating a business around that.
Emotional response problem: Fear about my future and insecurity about myself.
Brain-generated tricks: I am fearful that if I try to start something now, I will fail and everyone will see that. I fear that it will have consequences. What if it sets me back? I can just be satisfied with what I have now. What I have is enough.
Rephrase:
- "I will fail, and everyone will see that" is rephrased to: "I may or may not succeed, but that is part of the process of succeeding. Everyone is too busy tending to their lives to care about yours anyway. The worst that could happen is that they see it and start gossiping and teasing me, which I think says more about them than it says more about me."
- "I fear that it will have consequences. What if it sets me back? I can be satisfied with what I have now. What I have is enough." is rephrased to: "The fact that you have a desire now tells you that your current inaction (or more accurately, an action to not change) is not giving you what you want. This is already a situation resulting from a consequence. You want to improve the current situation. So saying that it will have consequences does not make sense."
Action:
- Act now and write my articles and post them.